


Think About It

by i_buchanan



Series: The Softening of Steve's Dom-Vibe [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Sex Toys, Trans Male Character, Trans Steve Rogers, continuing the time honored tradition of ignoring Infinity Wars, though we kind of ignore Civil War a lot too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 00:30:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_buchanan/pseuds/i_buchanan
Summary: The idea of hurting Bucky almost felt mean at this point. He supposed that under normal circumstances that wouldn't be much of a problem, but the two of them had never experienced normal circumstances in their entire lives.Or, Steve is the biggest softy who still wants to push his boyfriend around a little bit





	Think About It

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello everyone (:
> 
> I'm in the middle of clearing out my WIP folder, and this has apparently been sitting there for,,, months now, and I figured it was time to put this series to rest. Not that I'm going to stop writing trans Steve, because y'know. That's my lifeblood. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it, and concrit is always welcome <3

Steve knew he was doing this out of order. Before, it had always gone tease, hurt, fuck, then comfort. And while neither of them had really addressed it while they had set about rekindling their relationship, he was pretty sure they both knew it was different now.

Or maybe not, considering that Bucky hadn’t so much as asked for anything rough. Hadn’t really since the war either, but this felt different.

It hadn’t been hard for Steve to get them here. Bucky had always been fairly lax, more so after a scene, but he seemed especially pliant since coming home to live with Steve again.

He tried not to think about how that could come from him following HYDRA’s orders for the last seventy years. How that could come from the fact that it had taken months for him to even consider himself a  _ person _ again.

So after a lazy day that mostly consisted of Bucky flipping through channels, tucked against Steve’s chest so that Steve could kiss the back of his neck whenever he wanted, just being enough of a tease to keep Bucky’s cheeks warm and flushed, it didn’t take much more than an offer to get Bucky sprawled out in the tub while Steve tried to sort through the myriad of bottles and canisters that Bucky stored in their shower caddy.

He wasn’t entirely sure where Bucky had even gotten most of these, or what a lot of them were even  _ for _ . But he knew that at least some of them had come from Natasha, who had declared Steve’s selection ‘tragic’.

“Buck, you have five different sugar scrubs,” Steve said, having to speak up to be heard over the running water. Nearly boiling hot to Bucky’s specifications.

Bucky’s answering huff of laughter was barely audible, but it still made Steve smile in return.

“Just because you magically stumbled into being gorgeous doesn’t mean we all can. Some of us gotta work for it.”

“You were born pretty; this is all just a little ostentatious.” Still, it did make Steve feel a little more confident that Bucky was returning to something a little closer to normal. Bucky had always been vain as a peacock, and while he’d never had this volume of soaps and conditioners, Steve had vivid memories of how he’d light up over a new tin of pomade.

Bucky hummed, obviously content as Steve decided to just bring them all over. Which was pretty much what he’d done with everything else he was relocating to the tub. Better to let Bucky pick rather than to guess or make the choice for him. Even though Steve knew Bucky would let him, if only so he could grumble about it later.

By now, the tub was almost full, water covering Bucky’s chest. Steve couldn’t stop himself from leaning over to kiss Bucky’s temple, so viscerally grateful that he got the chance to do this again. “Want me to pull your hair back now, or do you want to leave it loose?” he asked, turning the taps off.

A good chunk of Steve had expected Bucky to crop it short again, to keep it nice and orderly like before. God knew that he’d even gotten annoyed with how long it had got in the field, and that had nothing on the long waves that framed his face and touched his shoulders now.

“Not now. Pull it back while the conditioner’s setting.”

Steve rolled his eyes, settling on the lip of the tub. “What, you have to let it set now? I figured you just put it on and rinsed it off.”

With a quick tut, Bucky flicked some water at Steve, a mock-disapproving set to his mouth. “Stevie. Sweetheart. Get with the times.”

He couldn’t help but snort, gently splashing Bucky back. “Yeah, all right. You’re the modern day man here. So what am I using on you tonight?”

There was a moment of silence, that familiar divot between his brows as Bucky thought it over. Sometimes Steve wondered why he had so many things when there were so many occasions where he had a hard time making choices.

Maybe it was  _ because  _ he had a hard time making choices. Maybe he had a hard time choosing between them when he was in the shops as well.

“The honey-scented ones. Blue, rectangular bottles.”

Steve nodded, placing his hand on Bucky’s chest when he leaned over to kiss him. Just briefly, a chaste press of lips. It was still enough to drag a contented sigh out of him, to get that pleased little crinkle around Bucky’s eyes.

There was a good chance that Steve was entirely too fond of everything he did.

“All right, gorgeous. Lean back for me and I’ll take care of you,” Steve said softly, dragging his fingers up Bucky’s warm skin until he was cradling his jaw.

In spite of the fact that it had been decades since they had done this, and never with this level of decadence, or even in these bodies, it felt like muscle memory for Steve. Hold the back of his head, gently pour water over his hair from his cupped hands. Listen to the telltale hum that meant Bucky was there, present in his body while Steve fussed over him.

He wished he’d been able to give Bucky this sort of thing before. They’d made do with what they had, but he’d always wanted to spoil Bucky as much as he could while they were winding down. It was his way of making it up to Bucky, in spite of the fact that he had wanted to be hurt just as much as Steve wanted to hurt him.

He found the shampoo and conditioner Bucky had wanted easily enough. They looked expensive, and he didn’t want to think about how much all of this cost regardless of the fact that they could afford it now.

Steve was careful, maybe more so than he used to be, as he rubbed the shampoo into the long locks. Thanks to Bucky’s care, it didn’t feel or look as scraggly as it did when they first met this century, slipping through his fingers like silk now even while wet.

Bucky hummed low as his eyes slipped shut and he pushed into Steve’s touch. Still so much like an overgrown cat that he couldn’t help but smile.

“Feeling good, doll?” Steve asked, thumbs rubbing circles against Bucky’s scalp.

The humming shifted into a moan, just as soft, as he let his head fall back into Steve’s hands.

It wasn’t showy, or overtly preening, but the gesture still hit low in Steve’s gut as he tried desperately  _ not _ to get aroused by this. It would be ridiculous, in spite of the fact that he was looking down on what seemed like miles of bare skin, down to his toes curling against the porcelain. Nails painted dark red which was probably a prank courtesy of Natasha. Bucky didn’t seem to mind enough to do anything about it.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he muttered, pleased at the small smirk that curled Bucky’s lips in response.

He took his time, making sure to soap every strand until Bucky was practically putty in his hands before rinsing it away.

Making a point to steadfastly ignoring every time his cock twitched against his thigh beneath the water, because Steve didn’t want it to be about that.

Or. He didn’t want to accidentally taint this for Bucky if it was just his body reacting instead of something he actively wanted.

And yet, Bucky had that familiar hazy cast to his eyes, flesh hand absently caressing the water as he looked up at Steve and that was so, so hard to ignore.

Regardless of that, he didn't stop himself from leaning down to press their lips together, melting under the easy way Bucky opened up with a soft sigh. How pliant Bucky was, after all this time.

When they parted, his pupils were blown, nostrils flaring as the metal plates of his arm whirred and recalibrated. Steve felt so helpless, unsure of what even he was supposed to do here.

Bucky swallowed, throat bobbing before he averted his gaze. The water lapped at the sides of the tub as he shifted, knees pressed together. “You gotta do the conditioner now, Stevie. Has to sit for at least five minutes or my hair’ll be unmanageable.”

While part of Steve wanted to drag Bucky to bed instead, to get him sprawled out on their covers beneath Steve, he refrained. Instead, he grabbed the accompanying conditioner and set about to smoothing it over Bucky’s hair, clipping it into a loose twist when Bucky deemed it satisfactory.

“I’m not sure if you’re trying to tease me, or yourself,” Bucky commented, seeming content to lounge while Steve worried over smoothing the escaping strands back. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely enjoying this, but… Feels like you’re holding yourself back with me. In general, but especially right now.”

The words probably weren’t meant to sting as much as they did. It was true that Steve had been trying to be careful of their physical interactions. Worrying over what counted as too much. Not in the same way he had back in Brooklyn where there was an innate fear of getting caught out in broad daylight, or during the war when getting caught would have been disastrous for both of them.

It was just--

“I don’t know how to talk about this sorta thing,” Steve admitted ruefully. “Never really did. And back then it was fine because you were vocal enough for the both of us and I knew… I knew that you were always physically able to stop me. Before.”

Back when he was smaller, he wanted to say. Before he really looked like a man, or had the strength of twenty. When Bucky could drag him out of some brawl or another like he didn’t weigh a damn thing.

There was something solemn in Bucky’s eyes, as if he could hear all of that and more. And maybe he did. Steve’d always been an open book to him.

He sat up, water sloshing a little precariously as he placed a wet hand on Steve’s denim-covered thigh, peering over into the pile of soaps and such that had been moved here. “Use the lavender scented one. Round bar, dark flecks,” he decided before sinking back down.

While he was a little bewildered, Steve was quick to obey. Though he had to actually smell a few of them, because god forbid Bucky only have one round soap bar with dark flecks in it.

For a while, Bucky didn’t say anything further, waiting until Steve started massaging the suds into his shoulders.

“Stevie, I could stop you if I wanted to now. Wouldn’t even have to lift a finger. You were always bossing me around in bed, having me do this and that, but if I didn’t want any of that I could have just said no and you would have backed off immediately. Just because it looked like you were the one making the power plays in the bedroom, and just because I was usually taking it up the ass, doesn’t mean that you weren’t wrapped around my goddamn fingers. Hell, you’re even worse about that now, bathing me and trying to be decent by not ogling me even though we both know you want to.”

A dark blush burned Steve’s cheeks, creeping across his ears and down his throat even as he swallowed convulsively. It was true. Of course it was true; he’d always been so weak to Bucky’s pleas. Always tried to be careful with him no matter what else it was they were doing. “I just…”

“You just worry more than my bubbe did. And my mother. And possibly even  _ your _ mother,” Bucky finished, straightening up and not so subtly hinting for Steve to keep going. “Look, you want to give up the hard stuff because you’re secretly the biggest sap who ever lived, that’s fine. But don’t do it because you’re scared of yourself.”

There was something odd about Bucky spouting the reassurance here. Steve wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed by it or not. Tears pricked his eyes regardless, though he never faltered from his task of smoothing his soap-covered palms down Bucky’s back. Being especially careful along the seam of scar tissue that was hopefully softening and healing.

“I’ll need to think about it,” he said after a moment, moving back around to Bucky’s chest.

That seemed to be good enough for Bucky, who just made another soft, contented noise as he slid back into the water. “If you do this again, at least take your shirt off. Give me some eye candy, or whatever it is they call it.”

Steve huffed, rolling his eyes in spite of the heat rushing to his cheeks. Bucky was still most definitely the worst.

The rest of the bathing went off without a hitch, with Bucky picking out different lotions and creams after Steve dried him off. The choices came a little easier now, or at least with fewer hesitations, and there was just something so pleased in the curl of his lips that Steve had a hard time not thinking about.

It had been far too long since he’d seen that look. He’d do a hell of a lot to keep it there on Bucky’s face.

“You really are sweet to me,” he said softly, touching Steve’s shoulder after he finished easing a robe over Bucky’s arms. “Always have been. And I don’t ever want you thinking otherwise.”

Steve ducked his head, as if he could hide the blush spreading across his cheeks that way.

* * *

It wasn’t that the sex was bad now. Or even that Steve wasn’t enjoying doing things a little more ‘normally’ these days.

It was just--

Steve wouldn’t say it was that something was missing, but it felt like there was a piece out of place. There was some odd little thing that felt a little off, but it was so insignificant that he could ignore it most of the time.

Their mornings slowly started to settle into a new routine. Steve would put coffee on, go out running with Sam, and by the time he got back Bucky was usually up and had gone through half the pot, but would at least have breakfast waiting.

There were small variations. This particular Sunday had started with Steve sucking Bucky off before he got up to do everything else. Feeling his hips flex under his hands and watching as he bit his lip and gasped for breath as Steve swallowed him down.

Sam made a point to note that Steve looked particularly smug, but also made a point to say that he didn't want to know.

Bucky was looking significantly more awake than when Steve had left him, though still a little dazed.

It was beautiful. Soft, grey eyes focused on the window, the silver plates of his hand foggy with condensation. Hair loose about his shoulders. Steve was glad he’d taken the time to move Bucky’s favorite chair closer to the window so that he could lounge in the sun.

Of course, the illusion of peace was ruined when Bucky opened his mouth.

“We can get you a dick, you know.”

Steve sighed heavily, eyes turning towards the ceiling. Though, he was only about half as exasperated as he acted and he was sure his burning cheeks would give that away in a heartbeat. “I’m not having surgery, and I’m not going to spend half an hour fiddling with harness straps and completely ruining the mood in the process.”

“Wait, you could surgically get a dick? Jesus, the future’s something else.”

“I’m not doing it,” Steve repeated, toeing his shoes off so he could cross the room to plant a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky shrugged as he slowly maneuvered himself into a proper sprawl. “It’s your body. And I was aiming more down the strap-on route anyways.”

“What brought this on?” he asked, trying to at least reroute the conversation. He doubted it would work all that well without Bucky deciding to let him, but it was worth a shot anyways.

There was a soft hum, Bucky’s eyes flicking back towards the window. Looking thoughtful, as if they weren’t talking about sex.

But then Bucky never got flustered when it was just negotiating. It was only when they got into dirty talk that Bucky would blush, his breath hitching as he responded in kind.

“You told me half a lifetime ago that you couldn’t give me what I was looking for in the parts department. And I stand by the fact that it’s never bothered me because I love you and how you give it to me, but I think… I think it still bothered you sometimes. And if we can do something about that now, wouldn’t it be worth trying?”

It felt like his heart stuttered, surprised that all these years later Bucky still remembered. He only vaguely recalled the conversation himself. Not word for word, but at least the gist of what he’d said, mostly defensive, mostly out of frustration. Steve had been so damn sure that Bucky was just trying to placate him and that he’d eventually leave for a ‘real man’. Or that he’d eventually come to the conclusion that he was really straight and would leave him for a woman instead.

Of course, after all this time he was pretty confident that wasn’t going to happen, and he couldn’t help but wince over how, at the time, he’d thrown all that in Bucky’s face until he had retreated into himself, grey eyes shadowed by heavy lashes as they focused on the worn floorboards.

“It would be more for you than for me,” Steve said, choosing his words carefully now. “I don’t… It doesn’t bother me so much anymore unless we’re…” He trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

And that much was true, for the most part. The empty space between his thighs didn't cross his mind all that often, mostly when he was stripped down in front of Bucky and trying to make him scream.

Well. There were a few other times it bothered him, but for the most part, it was just that.

For his part, Bucky seemed to be taking just as much care with this conversation, in spite of how bluntly he started it. He took his time to mull over Steve’s counterpoints before offering his own. “It also doesn’t have to be a big commitment. If it doesn’t work out, then we never have to try it again. No harm, no foul.”

And, well, there was that. He had no idea how much something like that might cost him, since it hadn’t occurred to him to check until Bucky had come back to him and even then not until Bucky was comfortable enough to instigate  _ more _ .

“I’ll think about it,” he promised.

There was something self-satisfied in the way Bucky kicked his legs over the arm of the chair, as if even that was some sort of victory.

Though, Bucky probably considered it one, even if it felt like such a small concession on Steve’s part.

* * *

Apparently there was a lot of different kind of dicks for a guy like Steve. Not even just ones for fucking, but ones to wear every day just to fill the space that felt empty from time to time.

The future had largely left him closeted, all of his legal paperwork having been long since doctored by someone, probably Erskine or Peggy. It seemed that no one had thought to go looking deeper than that, and in spite of the fact that the people who defrosted him surely knew, no one brought it up. No one thought to let him know things like this existed, and Steve was almost angry for that.

That was something to deal with later, he thought. When he and Tony were on better terms and Steve could ask his advice on how to handle the blowback he would surely get for it.

Granted, he was pretty sure Pepper would have better advice on handling it, but Tony would understand the feeling of it far better.

He almost didn't tell Bucky about all of it. That he could get one to fuck him with, and a different one to just tuck away on the rare occasions it bothered him to see the flat front of his pants. Steve was used to not making a big deal out of it, pushing down his own discomfort for the sole reason that he couldn’t do anything about it, but now that he could…

In spite of Steve’s hesitation, Bucky convinced him to order one that seemed straightforward enough. No tricky harness, decently sized… Bucky made a lot of lewd gestures while talking about it which usually resulted in Steve gently shoving him away, laughing.

After weeks of waiting impatiently it finally arrived, and Bucky pointedly made himself scarce so that Steve could consider it without Bucky hovering over his shoulder.

There was something sweet about that. Something Steve might consider rewarding.

It took a little maneuvering for Steve to get it situated how he wanted it to, unused to the feeling of anything pressing against his own cock that wasn’t his fingers. It was--

Christ, just looking at the damn thing made him feel settled. As if a missing piece slotted into place. All the embarrassment and the bickering with Bucky over which one would work best could be forgiven just for that feeling.

“Can I come in now?” Bucky asked, too soft for the usual sort of ‘demands’ Bucky liked to make in bed.

As if he was just as worried about getting this right as Steve was.

“Yeah, Buck.” Steve couldn’t help but wince at how hoarse his voice was. And they hadn’t even done anything yet. Bucky hadn’t even  _ seen _ him yet.

The door opened slowly, Bucky stepping in slowly with a soft green robe closed tightly around his chest. His eyes flicked to Steve, pausing just a bit too long on the toy between his legs. The head of the cock peeking above the waistband of his briefs. “How are you feeling?”

Steve rolled his eyes, reaching out to pull Bucky in. “We’ll see. It’s not bad, but I’m pretty sure you’re gonna get more out of it than I am.”

“You say that like I’ve ever complained about you spoiling me,” Bucky teased. He unwound himself from Steve’s grasp, only to collapse onto the edge of bed.

It wasn’t even remotely subtle. Steve still found himself unfairly charmed by it.

Charmed enough that his first real instinct was to lean down, pressing his mouth to Bucky’s and smiling at the soft sigh of contentment he garnered for it.

Bucky tasted sweet. Like he’d spent his time waiting by picking through the hordes of candy that Steve pretended he didn't know about.

“I love you,” he reminded softly, brushing heavy waves of dark hair back behind Bucky’s ear. As if there had ever been a moment of doubt about that.

There was a low hum as Bucky leaned into the touch, palms resting on Steve’s bare thighs. “C’mere and give it to me, then.”

Steve laughed softly, tapping his fingers sharply against Bucky’s cheek before he could think better of it. “Patience,” he chided. “You’ll get it when I give it to you. Going to be good for me?”

Bucky nodded mutely, pupils dilating already and that was heady in and of itself.

His breath shook a bit, carding his hands through Bucky’s hair and guiding him forward. Everything was still about as tucked away as it could be, but there was something in the way that Bucky licked his lips that made him throb all the same.

Steve watched as Bucky leaned forward, bending at the waist until his cheek was pressed against the ridge of Steve’s cock. Something about it felt so different than when he would tuck himself between Steve’s legs and nuzzle there. It didn't actually feel like much of anything, but watching him… “Would you suck it if I asked you to?”

There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation before Bucky was nodding, eyes shut as he breathed deep. It was beautiful regardless of how many times Steve saw him get like this, even though he doubted Bucky was anywhere near subspace.

Now that the moment was here, Steve almost wanted to turn back and do things the way they always had, but backing out at this point just felt ridiculous.

There was a little bit of fumbling, Steve releasing his grasp on Bucky’s locks and stepping back so he could try and get at the controls.

In spite of the fact that he expected it, Steve still jumped a little bit when the vibe came to life before folding down the waistband. It was… It wasn’t bad. It was weird and unfamiliar, but Steve couldn’t say he disliked it.

“Ok,” he said, more to himself than anything.

Bucky continued to sit quietly, hands folded in his lap though the robe was slipping off in a way that looked deliberate.

His palm slid over the exposed skin of Bucky’s shoulder, pushing the fabric further down while steading the cock that felt heavy between his legs. “Come on, gorgeous. Let me see what that mouth can do, huh?”

“I’m out of practice,” Bucky warned, though he was quick to lean forward and kiss just below the head.

Steve scoffed, cradling the back of Bucky’s neck. “It’s not like I’m really going to feel it. You could bite down and I probably wouldn’t even notice.”

There was a considering little hum as Bucky grasped the base of the cock, feeling it over as he continued to plant little kisses over the surface. “Yeah but I wanna be sweet for you,” he murmured, glancing up at Steve from beneath his lashes.

Without much more build up than that, Bucky’s mouth opened wide to slide down over Steve’s cock.

In spite of the fact that the only thing Steve could really feel were the low level vibrations that had been going on before Bucky had even touched it, he couldn’t help but hiss, hips jerking the slightest bit. It was… Christ, it was something.

Even with Bucky’s claims to be out of practice, watching him suck Steve off almost felt like heaven. His cheeks hollowed, lashes shadowing his eyes as he hummed and bobbed his head. As if this was real and Steve could feel every bit of it.

His breath shook as he pulled Bucky’s hair back, away from his face so that he could watch properly. Not wanting to miss a moment of it as Bucky’s own length thicken beneath the robe.

“You’re so easy,” he chided, hitching up into a moan. “Look at you. Opening up so nice for me. Getting off on it too, by the looks of it.”

Bucky made a low sound from the back of his throat, eyes fluttering open as he swallowed around it. Not lifting his head to answer, but sliding down further instead.

It was dizzying for reasons Steve couldn’t quite articulate. What he felt wasn’t even close to what Bucky was doing, but they felt connected all the same.

Steve could almost convince himself that the toy was just an extension of what he already had.

The possibilities of what they could do overwhelmed him. Pressing it far down Bucky’s throat to see how long he could hold it. Letting it rest spit-slick against Bucky’s cheek. Shoving it  _ and _ Steve’s fingers into his ass… 

It was a lot to consider all at once, and Steve could distinctly feel his knees trembling as Bucky sucked away, oblivious to what Steve found himself wanting.

Later, he insisted to himself. Later, after they decided if this was good for them. After they talked about it and sorted things out a little better.

Getting into Bucky now felt suddenly more urgent, and he pressed his palm over Bucky’s throat to ease him off. Able to feel him swallow a little convulsively beneath his fingers.

It shouldn’t have made him feel as powerful as it did, especially considering that he’d physically torn apart robots with his bare hands before. This was vastly different and required almost no effort to do.

Maybe that was why it was so heady. Because Bucky gave in without Steve making him.

His lashes were the faintest bit damp, mouth red and swollen as he licked his lips. “Not good?” Bucky asked, the faintest rasp to his voice.

God he was ridiculous. Maybe not quite fishing for praise, but seeking approval all the same.

“You’re perfect,” Steve promised, thumbing along his lower lip before pressing into his mouth. Exhaling shakily when Bucky sucked gently on that as well. “But I want to try something else, and I’m not entirely sure how long I can keep this thing on.”

Just as expected, there was something overtly smug in Bucky’s grin as he leaned back onto his elbows. Letting his legs fall apart in spite of the fact that he was still mostly covered where it counted. “Bet you can go more than once, though. You’ve brought me off three or four times in one night, and your serum is far more impressive than mine is.”

“Keep snarking and maybe I’ll shove something else in your mouth to keep you quiet.” He was blushing hot and he was half tempted to turn the thing off all together while he opened Bucky up. Maybe that would help him feel a little more controlled.

He probably should have expected the low moan and arch from Bucky. It somehow caught him off guard and made it even more imperative to get him naked immediately.

“Ain’t supposed to like your punishments, Buck,” he chided, reaching for the silky tie with shaking hands. He didn't have time to fiddle with the toy right now. He could take it.

“You’ve never actually punished me a day in your life.” In spite of Steve’s obvious intentions, Bucky made no move to help Steve undress him. Keeping his hips against the bed and all but making Steve manhandle him to get what he wanted.

Apparently Bucky had decided to be a goddamn brat and Steve couldn’t really bring himself to do anything about it. At the end of the day, he was probably right; Steve rarely tried to discipline him since Bucky had always been mouthy, but not  _ bad _ .

It took a little time before Bucky was properly splayed out. Half on the bed, every inch of olive skin exposed right down to the dark red polish that was still on his toes. His breath was steady as he stretched his arms over his head, firmly holding onto his metal wrist.

There was something almost reserved about the gesture, in spite of the fact that Steve had seen it so many times, before and after. Bucky wasn’t quite as showy as he used to be, hadn’t been since Azzano, but there was something…

Steve smoothed his palm over Bucky’s hip, thumbing the top of his thigh. “What’s on your mind?” he asked softly, gaze focused on his face instead of the jut of his cock that was hard to ignore.

He could see Bucky’s ribcage expand and contract with each breath, lust-darkened eyes trained on the ceiling. “It’s not that I want you to punish me, but I don’t… You’ve been going soft on me and I don’t want that either. I’m less breakable now than I used to be, you know?”

Almost in retaliation, Steve pressed down harder, listening to Bucky’s breath hitch in response. “We’re also in the middle of something different right now. We’ll try rougher once we know this is fine.” Steve paused, pushing Bucky’s legs wider and sinking to his knees between them. “It’s not about you, Buck. Has nothing to do with me thinking you’ll shatter if I push too hard.”

Bucky’s hum sounded disbelieving, but it also sounded like he would drop the subject for now. But that didn't mean it wouldn’t be brought up again in short order when Steve was done with him tonight.

That was something to deal with when it came up again, though. He grabbed the lube from the nightstand, rolling the half-empty bottle between his hands for a few seconds before popping the cap open.

“You haven’t taken a cock in a while,” he said, distracting Bucky while he poured out the slick liquid onto his fingers and letting it warm there as well. “Think maybe you should take my whole hand to make sure you can handle it first?”

There was definitely a sense of satisfaction as Bucky’s cock visibly twitched, leaking precum onto his stomach. “You’re really going to go from ‘one new thing at a time’ to ‘let me fist you’ in the span of ten seconds.” While the words were deadpan, Bucky couldn’t hide the sudden breathiness of his voice.

“You’re the one who said not to be so soft with you,” Steve countered, pressing the ridge of his knuckle against Bucky’s hole.

Even the slightest touch got Bucky to moan softly, so sweet as his hips tilted up.

Steve took his time, spreading the lube around and petting the tight furl of muscle until it let him in without a fight.

“There you go,” Steve murmured, relishing the low sound from Bucky.

His middle finger sunk in easily. Honestly, it probably wouldn’t take much to actually get Bucky ready, in spite of his teasing. Of all the things that had changed over the last several decades, Bucky was still more than happy to lay back and let Steve finger fuck him until he was a boneless mess, cumming dry and dazed as hell but still whining when Steve pulled out.

That didn't mean that Steve was going to rush his way through it tonight.

By the time he had three fingers buried in the tight, clutching heat of Bucky’s body, Steve could feel himself shaking, mouth hot against the inside of Bucky’s thigh as he cried out. High pitched and loud enough that Steve’s first instinct was to worry about the neighbors before remembering that wasn’t actually a problem for them anymore. They were safe. And the walls were fairly thick regardless.

“Stevie, baby…” A thin sheen of sweat gleamed on Bucky’s chest, glowing gold in the lamp light.

“You ready?” The question was punctuated by Steve spreading his fingers as wide as they could, glancing down to watch. The poor muscle gave in, and that combined with the shine of the lube and the scattering of bruises along Bucky’s thighs made him looked more debauched than he probably was.

Bucky gently kneed Steve’s shoulder, having braced his feet against the side of the bed so he could rock down onto his hand. “Been ready for ages and you know it.”

Which was true enough. That didn't stop Steve from pressing his pinky against the rim anyways, regardless of the fact that now wasn’t the time to try fisting.

Later. Maybe next time.

“Yeah. All right.” His fingers slid out nice and easy, and Steve leaned up to lap at the sizeable pool of precum on Bucky’s stomach. He still leaked like a goddamn faucet which  _ still _ got Steve going more than it reasonably should have.

He re-wet his fingers, sliding them in once more for good measure before slicking up his cock. Pausing a moment to fiddle with the controls again and gasping when the faster vibrations raced up his spine. Maybe they’d find out how many times he could go before he had to stop. Hopefully it was long enough to satisfy Bucky.

Steve pushed him up the bed so he could kneel between his legs properly, almost laughing at how Bucky was quick to scrabble for his shoulders and pull him closer. Pulling him down so he could seal their mouths together, teeth scraping over Steve’s lower lip as they parted.

“Make it good for us, gorgeous,” Bucky whispered, breath hot against Steve’s ear.

It was still daunting. Still a little overwhelming as he guided the cock into Bucky’s hole and listening to him choke on a groan. He wasn’t entirely sure of the motion; he’d ridden Bucky a few times, but… It wasn’t the same, probably. The rocking and rotating probably wouldn’t have the same effect from this end.

Bucky went lax easy enough, knees cradling Steve’s hips as his face smoothed out. Lashes heavy on the tops of his cheeks as his lips opened.

“All right?” Steve asked, squirming a bit. Their hips pressed tight together, and while he knew that the cock wasn’t quite as wide as his fingers that it also got deeper than he could on his own.

Bucky hummed low in agreement, nodding his head at the same time. “Show me what you’ve got,” he prompted.

There wasn’t really a way to argue with that point. In spite of the fact that he couldn’t physically feel it, he was still tucked nice and deep into Bucky. Could feel the heat radiating off of him as the vibe continued to buzz away against him. Both things he couldn’t ignore, and didn't have to either. He could just…

He started slow. Jerky little thrusts that crowded Bucky up the bed but didn't punch out more than the occasional sharp breath.

Irrationally, he was reminded of the early days when neither of them had really known what they were doing and it took ages to figure out how to make it good for each other. Sex being a forbidden concept that neither could resist, but also couldn’t ask any advice about from anyone else.

In spite of the nerves, Steve pressed on. Pushing Bucky further up the bed, nipping at his lips and jaw all the while. As if it was some sort of distraction for both of them until Steve felt like he was getting it right.

His own pleasure was hot, molten in his veins and heavy in his guts. Getting heavier every time Bucky moaned or trembled, and it didn't seem fair for Steve to be the only one getting something out of this.

It felt like ages before Steve figured it out, before his hips were rolling smoothly and Bucky was whimpering on every exhale as the nails of his right hand dug into Steve’s skin.

“Gonna cum like this?” Steve asked, hands tangled in Bucky’s hair to keep him looking, keep him focused solely on Steve. “Think you can let go with nothing more than my cock in your ass, doll? You’ve done it with less and we both know it.”

Bucky keened, arching sharply as a tremor ran through him. Hazy grey eyes barely able to stay pinned on Steve for more than a few seconds, regardless of how often Steve tugged his hair as a reminder. “Can do it, sir. Gimme more, little harder.”

Steve shuddered, head dropping to Bucky’s shoulder and his own orgasm felt so painfully close but out of reach at the same time. God, he could barely remember the last time Bucky had called him that. “Yeah, sweet boy? Can’t even get off unless you’re being pounded senseless, huh? Poor thing.”

He tried, though. Fucking into him hard enough that he could hear their skin slapping together every time, and Bucky responded beautifully to it. His legs clamped down tighter, pulling Steve into him as he shook and moaned and tried his best to follow Steve’s motion even when they both faltered out of sync more than once.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when Steve found relief first, sharp and jagged and nearly blinding as he stilled on instinct, as if that would stop the stimulation that seemed to trip over into oversensitivity the second his orgasm was over.

Tears spilled over suddenly, falling onto Bucky’s skin in a way that he almost certainly noticed. It was--Christ, Steve didn’t know it was going to be like this. Didn’t think it would affect him this strongly, or even  _ why _ it was affecting him this strongly.

And the goddamn thing was still buzzing away, but Steve didn’t really have the presence of mind to turn it off, barely able to convince himself to keep the bulk of his weight off of Bucky.

“Sh, gorgeous, that’s it, let it out,” Bucky soothed, metal palm still cool enough to feel like a balm on Steve’s back. His voice was more than a little shaky, as if it was him who had been reduced to tears so quickly.

The tables felt so abruptly turned that Steve had a hard time biting back the semi-hysterical laughter that bubbled up to his lips. “That was unexpected,” he managed to say, finally pulling out and turning the vibrator off.

Even then it felt too sensitive to have pressed against his throbbing cock.

Bucky hummed lowly, pushing at the waist of Steve’s underwear until he got with the program to push them off, rather unceremoniously. “Good or bad?” he asked, after gathering Steve into his arms.

He didn’t fully realize how much he needed that until he had the fast pulsing of Bucky’s heart against his cheek. “Gimme a minute and I’ll let you know.”

There was a small huff of a laugh as Bucky took to smoothing Steve’s hair back, slowly, carefully. Too similar to how Steve used to do it when Bucky got overwhelmed by something, but he supposed it was foolish to think that it was always going to be him looking after Bucky now that he was bigger and less bothered by his looks.

It took a little longer than maybe it should have to realize that he was leaving Bucky hanging, that the hard, damp line of his cock was still pressed against the curve of Steve’s hip. That was more embarrassing than it probably should have been, but Steve had always made it a point of pride to make sure his best guy was taken care of.

“Let me…” He reached down, fingers wrapping tight around the head and was immediately rewarded with more precum leaking out of the slit. “Still get wet like nothing else, huh Buck?”

Bucky’s answering nod was a bit jerky, and Steve wasn’t sure if he was agreeing with his statement or giving his permission. Both, maybe.

Either way, he set to jerking him off in long, even pulls with his forehead pressed against the unforgiving metal of Bucky’s shoulder. Watching Bucky’s cock twitch in his hand, thick and heavy, and so red that it almost looked painful.

Regardless of how little it was, it didn't take more than a minute for Bucky to shoot off, knees tight around Steve’s hips as he moaned loud and stuttering as he spilled hot over Steve’s hand and his own chest.

He came down in increments, almost certainly able to go again with little prompting, but Steve was pretty sure he couldn’t say the same. Physically he was fine. Emotionally…

Bucky went lax against the mattress, though still managing to keep Steve close with a loose palm at the back of his neck.

“Better?” Steve asked, smearing his wet hand over Bucky’s hip just to hear him complain.

The soft, throaty whine brought a smile to his lips, and Steve picked himself up to kiss the full pout of his mouth. “You’re fine, gorgeous,” he insisted before leaning across the bed to get the wet wipes. Probably Bucky would be happier with a bath, but that was going to have to wait until Steve felt a little more steady.

There was a familiarity to the loose limbed pliability as Steve shoved his thighs further apart to wipe away at least some of the lube from between his cheeks after he cleaned up the cum. It warmed his heart, and he didn't hesitate before wrapping himself around Bucky and pushing his hair back once he was back up on the bed.

“Thank you,” he said softly, kissing his forehead for good measure.

Bucky snorted, wiggling himself further into Steve’s embrace. “Yeah, you’re definitely welcome for the solid fucking you gave me. It was my pleasure,” he said drily.

Habit took over, and Steve didn't even think before lightly smacking Bucky’s ass. Not hard enough to leave a mark or even make that much of a sound, but Bucky still yelped as he jolted, looking at Steve with faux-hurt.

“Don’t be smart, you know what I meant.”

“Sugar, I’ve always been the brains of this operation. You’ve got the looks.”

Steve recognized the goading. The gentle push that probably wasn’t quite as gentle as it could have been, but got the point across. “Better be careful, or the first thing we talk about is how you take your punishment these days.”

There was obvious warmth in Bucky’s smile. Something lax and happy in his face, and Steve had missed that. Forgotten how pretty could be like this, in spite of the fact that he knew he’d seen that expression more than once this century.

“You always knew how to threaten me with a good time.”

It was Steve’s turn to scoff as he tucked a few loose waves behind Bucky’s ear. Well, he supposed there was always that. He had no doubts it would be as easy as it used to be but maybe, probably, it wouldn’t be as difficult as Steve originally thought it might be.


End file.
